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Monday, April 26, 2010

Growing up.
_______________________________________




就算整个世界
把我放弃
而至少快乐伤心
我自己决定
所以我说
就让他去
我知道潮落
之后一定有潮汐
有什么了不起


sudden urge to actually leave house
living on my own...
and actually missing my dad right now :(
despite how control-sive he is reacently,
I still want him to be the man of the house..

tho, dad did asked me when can I be fully independent?
and did I answered in 2 years time ?!
But, It's werid that I can't even make simple decisions of my
own...

I did wanted to ask him when He rushed me back home when I did told
my mum I was going out with classmates after school..
Which is, Dad, are you afraid of me growing up and fly too far away and
never be back again? Are you afraid that you would lose me once you let go?
You wanted me to be independent, But you never let me have to chance
to explore the world which is so much bigger out there.
I can only do that if you are letting me go. Why are you being so control-sive right now? Because I'm studying at a polytechnic? or what is the main reason ?

That day... I wanted to call K, and I was crying bitterly since I was told to be back home right that instant, And taking that lonely train back home with my Ipod blasting emotional songs, I want to cry.. so badly
And I finally did, at the shower to reading my notes to falling asleep..
All I thought of was to call K.. Which I know by now.. He's never gonna be te same
anymore.. He's never going to be there for me anymore..

And I learned not to lied to myself because it's not going to make me feel any better.

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SHERMINE
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Monday, April 26, 2010